It Began with a Prayer…

Like so many great stories, this one began with a prayer. A simple prayer for help. A prayer from a stressed-out and burn-out woman just trying to stay afloat. A prayer that started as a moment to get fresh air from a busy day and turned into a prayer walk deeper into my faith and well into the night.

This summer I was overwhelmed. I had just stopped nursing my first, decided to go all in on a new diet and work out plan, and partnered my business with an incredible team and mentor, committed to way too many fun social plans, and just generally overextended my schedule. I was juggling my social life, my professional life, my physical health, and still taking on more leadership roles at church while finding less and less time for my own personal development in the Word.

[I am obviously bad at saying no.]

I think we all go through this phase, or at it helps me feel less alone in this crazy year. The worldly pressures of being a ‘Boss Babe’ and great mother while still being a dedicated wife, managing my household, and keep up appearances caught up to me. I would see other moms just look like they were absolutely THRIVING at everything on social media and think, ‘Well I guess I can to’ or ‘I just need to go to bed later and wake up earlier’ or even better ‘I can do everything, and I don’t need help. I don’t see other women asking for help.’ OBVIOUSLY … they were all lies.

One Monday, after trying to dig out of weekend emails and schedule another crazy week, I just started crying. My chest hurt, the tears just flowed casually down my cheeks, and I felt this sense of dread building up inside me.

Why was a dreading the life I had built for myself?

Probably because it was more like a mess I had created than a life that was sustainable. I was burning a candle at every end, and I had no idea how to keep it lit. This constant pressure I had had accepted from the world was now making me feel physically and mentally broken.

& I did need help.

I needed space, air, answers and guidance. So, I decided I would leave my office to work from home the rest of the day and just casually call my grandmother on my commute. As I got in the car and had Siri place the call, I already felt a little lighter. When my granny answered I remember telling her it was probably the sun or the change of scenery, but I felt great and guess I had just overreacted about a bad Monday. Granny had other answers. She said, “No. Go home, say a prayer, eat something and take a nap. You’ll wake up and then you really will feel better.” In my mind I scoffed thinking, “Does this old lady think I’m Elijah? How is time in prayer and a nap going to help when I have a thousand things to do?” She prayed over me, told me to give it to God and call her at supper time.

I got home, ate a snack, prayed, took a nap, and felt revitalized.

Although that is absolutely the cliff notes version, it’s true. I walked in my house, let my dog out, grabbed a cheese stick and a blanket and went to my favorite spot in the yard with my Bible to just sit and pray. I told myself I’d give my Granny’s advice an hour, and it turned into the day. I felt foolish, but I just started talking out loud to God telling him about my morning like he hadn’t already been there. I didn’t plan on talking for so long, but with the sun shining and breeze blowing, I talked and talked. It was therapeutic. I just kept getting deeper and deeper into all the little things that were adding weight to my shoulders. & I cried.

Jesus wept, but I ugly cried.

It was cathartic. It was a release of so many emotions that I didn’t know I needed. It felt so refreshing to feel so vulnerable. Then, unintentionally, I cried myself to sleep. Probably the most restful nap I have ever had. I woke up not long after feeling warm and calm as the sun shone through the leaves, and I picked up the Bible I had been frustratingly gesticulating with earlier. I prayed again. I asked God to show me what I needed to see and guide me where I needed to go. He delivered.

Sometime in the late afternoon, my husband showed up. Confused and concerned he hesitantly approached me and curiously asked what was going on. I had no idea. I just knew I was where I needed to be. I told him about my day and the moments leading me up to that point. He put down his lunch box and he joined me. He prayed over me. He prayed over us. He prayed for our careers, our marriage, our family and our purpose. I prayed over him. Then, the blessing of a man that he is went inside to clean up for dinner and pick up the baby, so I could continue on my journey with the Lord.

I’ll spare all the details and save the scripture he showed me for another blog, but I’ll share the outcome.

God gave me peace. He gave me strength to ask for help. He gave me new purpose and new passion. It was that Monday that a bad morning led to a simple prayer that created Planning to Thrive.

Through this beautiful moment of surrender in my faith, God let me know I wasn’t alone. He showed me he was always there for me, but that I wasn’t His only child struggling with the balance of the world. He gave me the strength to acknowledge where I needed to step back, where I should be focusing my energy, and the passion project of creating a line of products to help other busy women like me stay grounded in their faith.

Bad days can lead to amazing moments.

This bad day is now one of my favorite days. It revitalized my passion for God, reaffirmed His selection of my husband, and gave me the confidence I needed to truly pursue my purpose in him.

I pray you look for God everyday, but especially in those tough moments.

We might see ourselves to be as great as the prophet Elijah, but a snack, a prayer and a nap can truly transform your life for the better no matter where you are. Never underestimate the power of submitting it ALL to God. Then give Him the glory for the gifts He will bestow upon you after that surrender. Our lives are infinitely better when we let Him lead us.

With God’s Love & Mine,

Christina