Feeling Full
So, I have been struggling this week with feeling anxious, antsy and bothered by everything and everyone around me, and I had no idea why.
At first, I thought it was hormonal. But then I was like, no, it’s not the right time for that.
I was feeling all of the feelings while trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was even finding myself feeling annoyed when my husband was being sweet. I felt confused when my children weren’t talking, and I was OK with that any other time. But this time, I was like, what is going on? Why am I not happy?
Am I stressed? Is anxiety at an all-time high? … Guess what?
Yes, I was stressed.
Yes, anxiety was at an all-time high.
& it was because Carrie was not in the Word. I had not been sitting down with my Bible. I had not been sitting down with God. And I had not been fueling my spirit with His peace, calmness, joy or His graciousness. I was doing the daily notions. For the first time in my life, I realized that not being in the Word truly affected me. It may sound crazy, but I am thankful that I could recognize that I was feeling empty.
I was not filling myself up with God, and to have that realization also means that I am closer to God. Years ago, I would not have recognized that the empty feeling was because I wasn’t being filled by the word of God.
It truly fills your spirit up.
He spoke to my spirit, letting me know that it was empty, and I needed to feed it.
I had been doing my little devotions. & yes, I am calling them little compared to what I should have been doing, which is sitting down and reading the Bible. I had not been doing that. You know that saying “a verse a day keeps Satan away?” Yeah, that wasn’t enough for me. Going without being fed the word is just like going without eating. How do you act when you get hungry? Well, for me and the folks in my house, we get hangry. Apparently, I get that way without having God‘s word in my life. Your girl was getting hungry, and I wasn’t satisfying that hunger.
Jeremiah 15:16 says, “Your words were found, and I ate them, and Your word became to me the gladness and joy of my heart.”
I often ask God to show me the blind spots of my heart and to show me where I am slacking. He may not always tell me directly, but He will always answer. This time He told me to do a soul check. He told me I needed to evaluate my daily life. Was I seeking Him the way I knew I needed to? Was I sitting with Him daily? Of course, those answers were no.
I am thankful for a Father who is true to His word and who isn’t easy on me. If He was easy, I would probably not have learned my lesson.
It is SO true that the good Word brings joy and gladness to our hearts. I wish that you could hear my excitement from the revelation of knowing that I needed to be fed God‘s Word.
I am thankful that He called me out.
If you’re feeling like you’re struggling and not sure what’s going on emotionally, try sitting down with God. Ask Him to speak to you. Since I had ‘aha moment’ I have been deep in the Word, and I can honestly say that I feel SO MUCH BETTER. The heaviness, despite the world around me, is gone. The anxiousness has dissipated. The stress is nowhere near as drowning as it had been.
Have you sat down with our father? Have you talked to him? Have you listened to him? Have you opened your Bible to be fed the word?
It’s time to get your fill.
God’s Love and Mine,
Carrie
