When Christina Met Carrie…
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wanted this blog to reflect the beautiful seasons of friendships that God brings into our lives at the perfect times. So, here is the story of where I was when God brought me Carrie.
Nine months after losing my mentor, six months after being scammed by a terrible contractor, five months after launching my first business and two months after loosing my best friend to her fight with cancer, I had my first born in February of 2023. The joyful bliss of a newborn was quickly ended by Covid followed by the loss of my grandfather two weeks later. Then, shortly after this, I quickly learned that new businesses don’t get breaks - especially that early in the game.
I say all this not to harp on negative memories but to outline the roller coaster of emotions that this season of my life brought me & my new little family.
To no surprise - Postpartum Depression set in.
I quickly found myself feeling bitter, hurt, isolated and completely unmotivated. I had no idea how my God could drag me through so much in a year of life. In my plans, it was a happy year - a growing family, house and career.
But God had other plans.
His plans were to completely redirect me.
His plans were to better align my plans with His Purpose.
Sometimes that means breaking us down to build us back up for something even better than we could imagine.
I spent so much of this year fighting for my plans, that I became more and more miserable. I was crying to my husband weekly about being unhappy with where I was and feeling like a failure. I spent my maternity leave trying to settle an estate and be strong for my family while continuing to build a new business instead of cherishing the solace and focusing on my recovery. I then spent a year fighting for a business I had lost passion for 6 months in. I spent two years stressed about my family’s safety because of a bully. I struggled endlessly trying to make everyone around me happy and impressed without slowing down to focus on where God was pushing me and how God wanted to heal me.
& because I wasn’t listening to him, God sent in a backup.
Finally, I went back to work. & there I met Carrie.
Carrie had started working for one of the teams in my office while I was out. She had also had her fourth child about 6 weeks before me. Somehow, with a new baby and a new job - She was a ray of sunshine. & it was so annoying.
In the first few weeks of meeting Carrie I could not understand how she seemed to be juggling life so well with such a similar load to mine. I remember everyone absolutely adoring her and thinking to myself, “Okay, I have to get to know this girl and see what I can learn.”
At first, she was just a friendly face getting off of the elevator in the mornings, then it was casual office conversations. We went from bonding over nursing & pumping while working full time to her literally being the best client care coordinator I have ever had. She was adored for a reason. She made my day brighter and my work-life balance better.
I remember talking to a bestie from college bragging about her organization one day, and that girlfriend asked the toughest question. [She basically called me out.] If I liked and appreciated this person so much, why hadn’t I tried to build a real friendship with her since I felt so alone after a year of loss? Oof. Great question.
Uhh … Because I was scared.
I was scared to get deep with someone after loosing three people who arguably knew me better than anyone except my husband. I was scared to feel that potential hurt again.
I went home, and I talked to my husband about wanting to do something with her and trying to be her friend outside of work … but I was also half trying to talk myself out of it. Thank God for a good man, because he didn’t let me.
So, I went back to my office the next day, and we made plans to do a baby craft with a mutual friend. It was the first time I had “girl time” in the 6 months of Cecil’s life.
It was so refreshing! My soul needed it.
Quickly, our conversations grew deeper, and we started to talk about more than work. Faith immediately came up. I knew Carrie was a Christian. It was never something she was shy about. What I didn’t know was that God had brought this beautiful soul to me in my darkest moment of faith to remind me about the comfort in Him that I had neglected to lean on. Carrie invited me to her Tuesday night Women’s Bible study, encouraged me to get more involved in my church again, and refocus my priorities to align with my Biblical purpose.
In my postpartum, I had neglected to lean on God. I had let the enemy fill my ear with self-doubt, discouragement, loneliness, and anger.
Carrie, by simply just being Carrie, had reminded me of the light and love I had in my faith and how to lean on it again.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25
My passion, my love for God, my desire to serve him was stirred up again.
Fast forward six months and both of our lives were hitting some new milestones with lots of change on the horizon. But, our new friendship normalized putting faith first again, so I went on a prayer walk to help realign myself with my purpose. I had a tribe of prayer warriors from Tuesday night, a friend to call me out when I strayed from His word, and a peer to look to with mutual respect for Biblical guidance.
I didn’t want a new friend. My heart was NOT ready to let someone come close to “bestie status” again.
But God knew I needed it.
God knows we can’t do it alone.
Friends come and go, for better or worse, just like the seasons of our lives. But, everyone has a purpose. & Everyone is given to us in His time for His purpose.
I thank God for the tribe he has brought me in this season.
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Whether intentional or just by her nature, Carrie has helped to sharpen me. She has helped me grow stronger in my faith.
I was stubborn at first, but God brought me a friend to help me heal. & He will provide you with the friends and support you need for whatever season you’re in too - you just have to be open to it.
You have to set aside your own judgements and fears and let His will guide you.
As you go into your season of Thanksgiving and get together with family and friends, I encourage us all to be bold in our faith and help each other grow.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 commands us, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." The encouragement, support, and strength we gain from surrounding ourselves with other strong Christians will only help us conquer any obstacle the enemy throws at us and continue to lite the fuel for your heavenly calling.
This Thanksgiving, reach out to your tribe. Tell them you love them and appreciate them. Thank God for them. & Pray. Pray over your tribe. Pray the armor of God & the protections of Psalms 91 just as you would your family and home, because they are your family in Christ. They are gift - a gift worth fighting for. (& our spiritual battles here on earth are never over.)
God’s Love & Mine,
Christina
